The Anvil on the Stylus

Do you crush your every fledgling creative effort with the terrible weight of how perfect your every attempted pen stroke must be? You may suffer from what I call The Anvil on the Stylus Syndrome.

Imagine if someone asked you to write or draw something with a pen but they said, “Oh, wait. Before you begin — I’m sorry I forgot to tell you — we’re going to stack a 300lb anvil onto the pen. Here it is. Now create!

Such an action would immediately snap your pen in half, splatter ink everywhere and likely crush one or both of your hands in the bargain. So, no. I wouldn’t want to try and create something under those conditions either. It’s obviously silly and would be very dangerous.

And yet…

How many times have I sat down to write or draw or start working on a character voice or even begun to draft a business email and the negative, repetitive thoughts arrive.

“This character you’re working on had better be perfect NOW!”

“Your first draft must, at least, equal Shakespeare.”

“We can’t create unless we are rich and settled and situated in the world.”

“This first line little squiggly line of the drawing you’ve just made on the paper has to make money soon, otherwise it's worthless.”

I can’t tell you how many intense, false statements my negative self-talk used to throw at me, especially when I was low on money and dared to try and be creative under those conditions. As soon as the stylus touched the paper (or my fingers touched the computer keyboard) it was as if my brain began to construct a huge 300lb iron anvil on top of the pen or the stylus or fingertips I was using and end the flow. No stylus flow or create a free line under the weight of a 300lb anvil.

What The Heck Can I Do?

Just noticing is very helpful. Reading this and knowing you’re not alone can begin to bring about change. Simply becoming aware that a) the voices in my head are speaking and working against me by telling me how useless or bad my nascent efforts are, and b) Thank thank those like I do. “Thank you guys, for trying to protect me from all of life’s pain and failures by trying to make me give up in the middle of the first sentence. I know you mean well, but I don’t need you anymore.”

So let’s go play. 

Exercise #2 (Time: 5-6 minutes)

Write the first (or next) line to the project you’ve been putting off. Email, poem, book, song, love note. whichever. For me it was this blog entry, but right after that it’ll be a shooting script for a project for my son’s school for when the kids’ return next week.

First Line:___________________________________________________________________.

Negative Self-Talk:____________________________________________________________

My Warm and Welcoming Response:________________________________________________

So, I will write the first line for that and then I will share with you one negative thing the voice says and then I will give the Negative Self-Talk voice a warm and welcoming reply.

1) First Line: Welcome to Action News I’m Todd Helms. Our top story tonight: this school has done a ton to prepare for your safe return. With more on that here’s our field correspondent Edwina Howard. Edwina…

2) Negative Self-Talk: “The names you made up are not good enough. You need other names and you’re going to need a lot of them as backups. Names that won’t come up on Google and cause you legal trouble down the road…”

3) My Warm Welcoming Response: “Wow, inner-voice, I hear you. You are so smart and can see very deeply into things. Thank you for scanning way, way down the road, trying to predict anything that would hurt us. I appreciate that, just know that I can’t let you get in the way of the writing and creating I have to do now. So, while I hear you, I’m gonna put you up on the shelf where you’re safe and can see everything that’s going on.”

What you have witnessed above in real time was me, Dion Flynn, coming into direct contact with my own negative self-talk and I chose to parent that rascally negative voice rather than go to war with it. If you’ll notice in my Warm Response I assumed the role of the larger, more patient and loving entity and I enveloped and neutralized my negative self talk’s attempt to “protect” me.

Just in case you were wondering: These answers were not crafted in advance, these were my real FIrst Line, Negative Self-Talk and Warm Response.

That anvil was not permitted to stay on my fingertips. I welcomed its essential reason for arriving (it thought it was “helping” me) and then I put it to the side and KEPT GOING ANYWAY.

Now will you please try? And then tell us what you discovered in the comments or if you’re shy you can send it to me, Dion Flynn, at Permission2Play@DionFlynn.com.